


Chihoko, what's good?

by katsukiy



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Chihoko - Freeform, Drunken Shenanigans, Jealous Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Public Humiliation, Smitten Yuuri, Stripping, Viktor Extra Nikiforov, Yuri!!! On Stage, basically the summary of what happened in the drama, flexing to demonstrate your love, now the complete rendition!, what wouldn't viktor and yuuri do for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 18:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10770228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katsukiy/pseuds/katsukiy
Summary: Either way, he can’t help but smile when a very naked, possibly still intoxicated Viktor crowds against him with the most beautiful smile and chirps “Am I shining, Yuuri?”Or the one where Viktor moons the entirety of Hasetsu to prove himself worthy of his husband-to-be, discards the existence of architectural barriers and, of course, gets Yuuri caught in the crossfire.





	1. Chapter 1

Catch gold medalist, skating legend Viktor Nikiforov ghibli sobbing into Christophe Giacometti’s (sparkly, _freshly pressed- oh my god Viktor stop_ ) suit while his husband-to-be Katsuki Yuuri is dead to the world, passed out on the floor naked with said skating legend’s panties on his head, just because he misunderstood a joking remark ( _Of course I'm not as flexible as you! But they- Sha... Chihoko, they're so flexible, and gold glittering, always stretched into the Boston crab position... So unforgettable, on top of Hasetsu Castle_ ) as Yuuri talking about a mythical ex who _dared to be more flexible than him._ “I thought I knew everything about him,” he sniffles prettily on the delicate cashmere, smearing it with snot as an horrified Chris pats him on the arm “Who is this person? This Shi- Chihoko?!”

 

Catch the same Viktor Nikiforov ignoring that it’s cold as balls and climbing up the tallest building in Hasetsu, butt naked and everything because he has nothing to hide and _everything to prove_ , flexing his heart (and still more than acceptable pecs, thank you very much) out and bellowing “This _person_ may be Yuuri’s past, but I am his _now!_ ”

 

Enter a flushed, very hangover Katsuki Yuuri, who had to _run_ there, just in time to hear Viktor yelling at the top of his lungs, “IS THIS BETTER THAN CHIHOKO” confused as to who the hell is this Chihoko guy, and _why_  exactly is his fiancé trying to become a replica of the [shachi](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FShachihoko&t=ODVmYTcyY2Y3ODFmZmFiZDkwZTlhMTY1MGJjMTU2ZGYzYzQ5YzQyOCx4TFNGSEZKbg%3D%3D&b=t%3ALfEG0Nx87oI5bjYzI9kxSg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fvictuuri.tk%2Fpost%2F160119482432%2Fcatch-gold-medalist-skating-legend-viktor&m=0) placed atop of Hasetsu Castle again? 

“He thinks Chihoko is your ex,” someone suspiciously sounding like a delighted Phichit supplies, followed by the shutter of a camera.

Yuuri takes a deep breath, blushes wildly just thinking about what he’s going to say. “I could search the whole world, nobody is better than you!”

And there Viktor is, a determinate, intimately smitten expression written all over his face, as he sniffles from the cold, fixing him with a fierce gaze and “Yuuri,” he pleads, “Strip and join me here!”

 

Let it be said that Katsuki Yuuri really, _really_ loves Viktor Nikiforov, because even as he lets out a long suffering whine, he’s already reaching for the hem of his shirt and pep talking himself into public humiliation.

“What the _actual fuck_ ,” Yurio screeches, and Otabek places a hand over his shoulder and drags him away.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey now,” Phichit calls, overjoyed “If he were under Yuuri’s bed, we’d have found him already, right? But what if he was in Yuuri’s _closet_ , instead?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one dropped any line, but I decided to do it ayway. Here, have the more or less complete rendition of what happened!

Katsuki Yuuri thinks he has a pretty solid knowledge of what he shouldn’t do. Like, generally, in his life. He even has a list.

 

The list starts off with “Don’t get drunk the night before an Ice Show” which, really, is no wonder, and an apparently simple task.

It continues, a little redundantly “Don’t get drunk the night before an Ice Show _with Viktor,_ ” the last bit underlined.

Yuuri squints at it, his distaste at repetitions coming out full force, as it stubbornly goes on “Don’t get drunk the night before an Ice Show with Viktor and start a stripping game.” Oh.

He starts to wonder. He isn’t the one that compiled this list, is he?

 

He scratches his nose, blinking up at the sheet of paper he found his cheek smushed on.

He can’t actually see it that well, because his glasses are missing. As are the memories of last night.

Completely wiped out. Zilch. Nada.

He groans.

 

“Viktor,” he calls, weakly, and the headache thumping at his temples screams in protest. No reply.

Oh, well.

 

He thinks that the list isn’t actually that interesting of a read, and that he could use a nap, but- a door bangs in the vicinity of his ear, making his heart and body somersault in the air.

He’d curse, but there’s no time for it, because someone is screaming.

 

“Katsudon, where the _hell_ did you put that old man?” as the words get shape into his mushy feeling brain, so does a known frown, followed by blonde hair and a blink of recognition, synapses working restlessly even as he feels they should desert him. _Yurio_ , he thinks, and makes a questioning noise.

 

“Get _up_ ” the Russian Fairy snarls, “Viktor has disappeared.”

There’s no simpler way of saying it, Yuuri at this literally springs up, hangover and instinct to puke his eyes out be damned. “What?” the panic’s already clogging up his throat. Disappeared?

 

Yuri is gazing at him now, managing to look incredibly entertained and yet terribly uninterested. “He’s probably hiding somewhere in shame,” he clicks his tongue, and Yuuri relaxes. If Yuri isn’t worried, it means they already called the hospital and the police to make sure Viktor hasn’t been found dead in a ditch or arrested- _yet_.

 

“Shame,” Yuuri parrots, quite dumbly, and Yurio arches his eyebrows. How can he be so- words deserts him, so he doesn’t continue the thought.

 

“Look, we just need to find him to get this farce of the Ice Show out of the way and go back home, okay?” Ah, too many words. Yuri _tsk_ s, and pushes something into his hands. “Just get decent and come downstairs, we’re waiting for you.”

 

Decent? Oh, and aren’t those his glasses? He puts them on gratefully, and he’s about to thank Yuri when an incredulous noise escapes the blonde’s mouth.

 

“ _Overcome Chihoko_?” he says, making no sense at all.

 

“What,” Yuuri says, and isn’t this getting kind of redundant, too? Like the list, which is now lying sadly, slightly crumpled on the floor.

 

Yuri squints at him. “It’s written on your back, in chicken scratch russian” he explains, not as grouchy as he could be but not even kindly, then pauses. “Your grossly naked back. And are those on your head _panties_? How disgusting are you guys?”

 

Yuuri raises a hand to check. Yes, they’re definitely panties. He dislodges them and examines the sheer black piece of fabric. They’re super small, and unsurprisingly ring a bell. “Oh, these are Viktor’s,” he wonders why they’re on his head.

 

“I don’t _care_!” Yurio bellows, his scowl getting deeper “I don’t really care! Just put on something and come downstairs, I’m out” and with that, he’s gone.

 

Yuuri finally can scratch his butt.

But he also has no time to be embarrassed about what happened to make him  wake up naked, with russian nonsense written all over his back and panties over his head, muscles incredibly sore, because Viktor has apparently disappeared?

 

He still has time to feel nauseous, though. Staggering to the closet, he throws on a yukata. He desperately needs a shower, and who knows if that thing on his back could stain. Better safe than sorry.

As he gets out, he picks up the list from the floor. Who knows, maybe it could be useful.

 

* * *

Everything is too damn _bright_. The room, the sun, the smile with which Phichit greets him.

“I see you found the list!” he chirps, and Yuuri moans. Of course it would be him.

 

Phichit just keeps grinning, and motions at him to sit.

He’s at the table, surrounded by what could be called a crowd: Minami, Seung-gil, Yurio, Otabek, Georgi and Chris, who all looks positively too _alive_ for him to deal with. Nonetheless, he sits.

 

Yuri looks more belligerent than usual when he asks “What did you do to Viktor?”

 

“What did I do-” Yuuri winces, wishing he could remember. But he doesn’t, so he just shakes his head.

 

“I _know_ you’ve kidnapped him or something, Katsuki shitty Yuuri” Yurio throws, glaring at him “he’s probably tied up under your bed or something because you got _jealous_ of butt guy, here,” at that, he looks at Christophe, who seems both delighted and offended to be called a butt.

 

“Hey now,” Phichit calls, overjoyed “If he were under Yuuri’s bed, we’d have found him already, right? But what if he was in Yuuri’s _closet_ , instead?”

 

Yuuri balks. “Phichit!” He doesn’t want to talk much more than he has too, but if Viktor was in his room, he’d have known, right? Also, what about him getting jealous of Chris? He shoots a suspicious glance in his direction, and Chris _winks_ at him.

 

“There was some harmless flirting,” the Swiss purrs, “but Yuuri got all into Viktor’s face and asked him to compete in a _stripping game_ ” he looks terribly pleased about that.

 

“That’s why I was naked, I _lost_ ,” Yuuri whimpers into his hands, and feels Phichit patting him comfortingly on the shoulder. At least he has supportive friends.

 

Christophe’s eyes positively gleam when he objects “Actually,” and stretches his body on the table to get closer “You forgot all about the game and ripped off Viktor’s clothes yourself,” Yurio gags at this, but he keeps going, undeterred “Demanded to practice the Eros routine and then,” he giggles “proclaimed yourself as the queen and auto-coronated with Viktor’s underwear.”

 

Yuuri has never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as he wants it this precise moment. He’s about to excuse himself and go hide in the bathroom, but Minami chooses to scare off his pants by yelling “It wasn’t Yuuri!”

 

The teen seems to preen under all the pair of eyes now zeroed in on him. He theatrically ruffles through his pockets and comes up with a piece of paper, that he satisfiedly showcases to the whole table with a flourish. A flourish that gives Yuuri time to read only “Yuri on Tiger” scribbled onto it.

 

“This,” Minami explains proudly, “Is what Yuri Plisetski and Otabek Altin were working on yesterday night!” he lets a moment of suspense settle “They wanted to hijack the Viktor With Friends show! If someone has him hidden, _they_ do!”

 

Yurio makes a noise. “Haa?” he asks, both outraged and unimpressed “And who the hell are you?”

 

Minami splutters, seemingly at loss, his insinuations already forgotten. “We were rivals in Juniors! _Rivals_!”

 

The expression on Yuri’s face is heartbreakingly honest in his disinterest. “Either way,” he continues, like he was never interrupted, “I’ve never seen that piece of paper before.” At this, he shoots a meaningful look to Otabek, who just nods seriously.

 

This is getting ridiculous. Yuuri just wants to find Viktor and sleep the rest of the day off. His hangover is not getting any better, especially after a loud clap resounds in his ear.

 

“Okay, false accusations will get us nowhere, we should just continue recapping last night’s events” Phichit says, the first thing that makes actual sense since this morning, in Yuuri’s opinion, but then goes to ruin it with “I have photos, anyway!”

 

“Oh, no,” he implores, as Phichit whips up his phone, taps for a moment making a terribly familiar loading screen appear.

 

“You _posted_ them?!” his own voice is hurting his head, damn it.

 

“‘course I did,” the Thai scrolls expertly through his Instagram profile and pulls up a particular photo, and against his own better judgment, Yuuri scoots closer to see. And gapes.

 

“Is that-” he starts, but Phichit interrupts him. “Look at this! Seung, you actually have a thing for buff guys, don’t you?”

He flips the screen to face the others, showing a pretty unequivocable photo of Seung-gil Lee, kissing- Nishigori Takeshi. Is Yuuri dreaming, please tell him he is.

 

Seung-gil goes rigid, and pales, but doesn’t utter a single word. He’s luckier than Yuuri though, because Phichit yelps and takes back the control again, squinting at the photo. “Yuuri!” he calls, uselessly, “there you are! You and Viktor are- _stretching_.”

 

What does it say about the whole day he’s having that Yuuri isn’t even surprised? “Huh,” he mumbles “That’s why I’m sore all over.”

 

“Oh!” Georgi, who has been silent until now, piques up. “I remember now! You guys were fighting about something, I don’t- you were saying something that sounded like… Chin- hoko?”

 

Chris smirks. “Try that again.”

 

Georgi scrunches up his nose “Chinhoko.”

 

“Was it Chihoko, maybe?” Yuuri inquires, because he remembers something about that, even if it makes no sense.

 

“Yes! Chihoko! You were arguing about that! Viktor seemed really mad, despite denying it,” he nods sadly, looking into the distance “You really need to work on your communication.”

 

Phichits looks more heartbroken than Yuuri does. “You- got divorced?” he asks, in a small, devastated voice.

 

Yuuri is about to say that no, they aren’t even married yet to begin with, and he doubts they would divorce over something as small as a non existent word, but yet again someone beats him to the punch.

“Isn’t that what you have written on your back, Katsudon?” Yurio sneers.

 

He blinks. Yes, yes it is.

He nods, gratefully, because some things are starting to make sense, at least?

 

“And it’s in russian, so if me and Georgi are not the ones who wrote it… It must have been-”

 

“Viktor!” Emil Nekola shouts, barreling through the door, sweaty and out of breath.

 

This is some supernatural shit. “Yes?” Yuuri asks, a little put off. Emil must have really great hearing.

 

“No, Viktor! I found Viktor! You’ll never guess where he is!”

 

* * *

 

Yuuri is sure that “Getting naked with you fiancé on top of Hasetsu Castle” is nowhere on that not-to-do list, because Phichit has no future vision, but it _should_ be.

 

Either way, he can’t help but smile when a very naked, possibly still intoxicated Viktor crowds against him with the most beautiful smile and chirps “Am I shining, Yuuri?”

 

“Very brightly!” he replies, and his headache is gone.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually intended for [tumblr](http://yuriplisetsk.tumblr.com/), but I like to expand my horizons.  
> Please, please, read this [report](https://lunawings.tumblr.com/post/160119752518/yuri-on-stage-event-report) to clear eventual doubts about the marvelous experience that was Yuri!!! on Stage.  
> I tried to stay as truthful as I could with what information was given to us, and Yuuri apparently was saying to Viktor that he was not flexible as a shachihoko (drunkenly rambling in Japanese to your Russian fiancé is not the best course of action, indeed, if you don't want him to misunderstand you, subsequently climb on a castle and flex to win your heart, but eh).  
> I skipped some scenes, but I could totally put them in as flashbacks? If people want me to, that is.  
> Just drop a line if you do? Or, like, just tell me if you liked it? It would make my day.
> 
> ...Sorry for the title, I don't have excuses.  
> 


End file.
